Highly stylized lyrics … 24. “Top of the World,” For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (1991)The intro for “Top of the World” matches the outro for “Jump,” as does the emotional outlook. “China Town,” A Different Kind of Truth (2012)Strip off Dave’s vocals and Ed’s solo and you’d never guess this was Van Halen, which is not exactly what you want when buying a Van Halen album. “The Full Bug,” Diver Down (1982)Dave hits the harmonica and Eddie hits the harmonics, probably a little more intricately than necessary for the likes of Joe Six-Pack (and way, way more intricate than for the likes of Joe Eighteen-Pack). Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake Confirm Arrival of Quarantine Baby, Phineas. And I realize that if you hate Van Halen, this is precisely what you hate. Van Halen is, in many ways, the high-profile exception to otherwise inflexible rules: classically trained virtuosos who make music for getting hammered in parking lots. “Blood and Fire,” A Different Kind of Truth (2012)While most of A Different Kind of Truth is a translucent attempt to reset everything back to the group’s club days, this is the one track that more closely resembles Roth’s solo career, particularly 1988’s Skyscraper. The words are about wolves and fireworks and watching TV, more impressionistic than narrative and hard to understand (much less interpret). Van Halen’s son Wolf announced the news. Sure, why not. That said, it’s impossible to imagine their catalogue without this tune, in the same way it’s impossible to imagine Rollie Fingers without a handlebar mustache. Van Halen, who co-founded the band Van Halen, died Tuesday morning following a years-long battle with throat cancer, his son, Wolfgang Van Halen, confirmed. “Loss of Control,” Women and Children First (1980)The lowest-ranking cut from the first Roth period, it’s the rock equivalent to the film Pushing Tin, combined with Post Malone’s harrowing departure from the VMAs. This was a band living in a big world. The takeaway is that this is genuinely insane mainstream rock music, performed by musicians who are always in complete control of the insanity they’re creating. 131. Nothing is heavy, everything is edifying — a comprehensive success. But this is killer and indolent at the same time. After the solo, Roth chats up Templeman about his suit and the acquisition of leg (singular), almost none of which makes any goddamn sense in any context that isn’t this song. I also appreciate the fleeting moment in this song that resembles “Communication Breakdown.” Not much else, though. Roth uncharacteristically sings from a position of weakness and everything concludes with a 15-second Godzilla stomp that’s sometimes classified as a secret track titled “Growth.” From a total band perspective, this is among their most accomplished achievements. The abstract idea of Van Halen remains iconic. If you’ve never seen an 8-track, I’m sure this makes no sense whatsoever. It’s as heavy as music can be without being heavy at all. Chuck Klosterman is a New York Times bestselling author and a featured columnist for Esquire, a contributor to The New York Times Magazine, and has also written for Spin, The Washington Post, The Guardian, The Believer, and ESPN. “Big River,” A Different Kind of Truth (2012)The demo version of “Big River” was called “Big Trouble,” so Dave must have been reminiscing about his 1983 exploration of the Amazon basin when it came time to drag this into the Age of Obama. “Poundcake,” For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (1991)Van Halen (and especially Van Hagar) is now widely considered “dad rock,” a term that’s only insulting if you hate children. “Unchained,” Fair Warning (1981)The title reflects the band’s lifestyle. “Inside,” 5150 (1986)The superfluous bummer at the end of 5150. Eddie once said he just happened to pick up the drill in the studio and “by sheer luck, it was in the same key as the song.” It must be crazy to go through life constantly noticing the musical key of every power tool you stumble across, but that’s the burden of genius. Paced somewhere between mid-tempo and ground-sloth, it’s easy to overlook the atypical, Neil Young-ish guitar solo that triples its Blue Book value. Chuck Klosterman's tenth book (aka Chuck Klosterman X) collects his most intriguing of those pieces, accompanied by fresh introductions and new footnotes throughout. “316,” For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (1991)An acoustic instrumental about the birth of Eddie’s kid Wolfgang, now an official member of the band. 59. for two reasons: ... Chuck Klosterman is a contributing editor at Grantland and the author of eight books. Tristan the Slightly Rakish has come to Darrowby. Intended as a one-off, the song’s success prompted the group to make an entire album (Diver Down) against their will, much to the consternation of everyone involved. “When It’s Love,” OU812 (1988)You’ve heard these keyboards before and you will hear them again (Optimus Prime is feeling better). It’s almost five minutes long, and maybe it would rock your socks off if they’d played the entire composition at a tempo that would have pushed it closer to 3:30 (although this would be a true for a lot of five-minute songs from a whole lot of bands). “Best of Both Worlds,” 5150 (1986)A verified hit, though not to the magnitude of the similarly titled Hannah Montana tune from 2006. “As Is,” A Different Kind of Truth (2012)Not really Dave-esque music, though he tries to make it work as best he can. Rarely does EVH’s music dabble in prog or inaccessibility; instead, he jams all his unorthodoxy into the claustrophobic confines of a traditional four-piece rock configuration, performed at a volume typically reserved for volcanoes. It does sound vaguely Spanish, it does mirror the flight of an insect, and it’s undoubtedly difficult to perform (especially if you believe he wasn’t even trying, which I don’t). And I know this confession degrades the value of my perspective, since my obligation as a professional critic is to separate my own experience from a song’s free-standing value, particularly when my personal experience is unusually weird or exceptionally specific. The video (directed by Roth) is an instruction manual for how to look cool while acting ridiculous and defines everything beautiful about hair metal, though MTV made it so popular that it ultimately served as the first concrete step toward the group’s implosion 12 months later. “Neworld,” Van Halen III (1998)Speaking of VHIII, here’s the opening instrumental, one of at least 13 instrumentals within the band’s catalogue. The video would obviously outrage contemporary audiences, but you know, it mildly outraged people in 1984, too. “Outta Space,” A Different Kind of Truth (2012)Fast and furious (but could be cleaner). The message is one of conscious political disengagement, so it would really get dragged on Twitter if attempted today. Also, Everybody Wants Some!! “He was the best father. Can I watch it if I don’t have TV? Steve Martin Happy to Get COVID Vaccine, Less Excited to be Old Enough to Get It, Groove to the Official Joe Biden and Kamala Harris Inauguration Playlist, The 40 Best Horror Movies on Hulu Right Now, What time is it? I realize some would say that that has been the case with this band from the get-go, but only if they exclusively focus on the solos and project that perception onto everything else. That sentiment was galvanized almost four months later, when Roth’s solo band debuted with “Yankee Rose,” an unbelievably ebullient song about wanting to fuck the Statue of Liberty. 127. Yet this wide-angle reconsideration did not happen, or at least has not happened yet. You can’t criticize the mechanic for being smarter than the owner of the car. 108. This is the worst of the three originals. A boogie that skews toward the obvious (lyrically and musically), it’s also staunchly in the vein of what Van Halen II is all about, so maybe file this in the drawer labeled “What We Were Doing at the Time.”. korny09 2 years ago. “I was an alcoholic, and I needed alcohol to function,” he said in a 2015 interview with Chuck Klosterman. “Spanked,” For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (1991)Not sure how much the world needed another song about phone sex, but it’s off an album titled F.U.C.K. “Aftershock,” Balance (1995)Musically exploratory, the groove is deep and the cymbals are constant. Lol. 35. (No KISS, Led Zeppelin, Van Halen, or Black Sabbath records from the 1970s were permitted, he says, because “This is the material that created hair metal. It’s a tad jokey, but never annoying and clearly “on-brand,” as the kids like to say. The cyclical nature of cultural significance has not worked in their favor. I certainly don’t love all of it. If they’d recorded “Judgement Day” in less than 24 hours, it quite possibly fries the proverbial pork chop. Eddie Van Halen doesn't listen to music. “1984,” 1984 (1984)Probably the band’s second-most familiar instrumental, it’s effectively just an appetizer for “Jump.” This is the auditory equivalent of Optimus Prime vomiting in slow motion, which probably sounds like an insult, although not to me. That said, I'm a little disappointed that only two songs from Fair Warning — my favorite Van Halen album — made the top 25 and one of them was Unchained. A fifth of the century is almost over, and Chuck Klosterman is out with a hilarious new essay collection to help us make sense of it. Speaking in 2015 to Chuck Klosterman for a Billboard interview, Van Halen talked about how he used substances for functioning purposes: “Alcohol and cocaine were private things to me. It’s not like Van Halen is in any danger of being erased from the historical record. 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